Soaring

I have a quote that I’m going to post below.  A friend of mine posted it on Facebook, and I thought it was really cool.  It’s a bit radical, like he says, so, after the quote, I’m adding a little of my thoughts about how I’ve come to view my past church experiences.  So here’s the quote….

I read this paragraph from a book by Madeleine L’Engle, Glimpses of Grace. It may be a bit controversial and offensive for some. But sometimes these kinds of statements can shake us loose and get us to look at things with a more open point of view. So everyone has been forewarned .

“As I read the Old and New Testaments I am struck by the awareness therein of our lives being connected with cosmic powers, angels, and archangels, heavenly principalities and powers, and the groaning of creation. It’s too radical, too uncontrolled for many of us, so we build churches which are the safest possible places in which to escape God. We pin Him down, far more painfully than He was nailed to the cross, so that He is rational and comprehensible and like us, and even more unreal.

And that won’t do. That will not get me through death and danger and pain, nor life and freedom and joy.

Yikes! That was pretty radical, I thought.  But it held some strong elements of truth that I identified with so I wanted to share it.

So, I grew up in a very traditional, rule-oriented church.  They preached the gospel, in a very rudimentary way, and I am very thankful for the message I heard there.  It served as my introduction to God.  But as I began to search for more of God, He led me to a different kind of church with a much broader understanding of God’s grace and mercy.  I learned about who I was in Christ, and many other important things.  The freedom I experienced there, compared to where I had been, was overwhelming and wonderful.  But as the years went by, and I had several more church experiences, yet again, I began to be hungry for more.  And this time God led me out of church altogether; and I have discovered depths of grace and freedom that I never dreamed of before.  The freedom I feel, once inside a new area of grace, makes the previous experience of freedom seem almost like bondage, so vast is the difference between the ever widening circles.

I sort of view all of this like a small circle to start with, and then if you draw another, larger circle around the first circle, and then another, larger circle around that one….and so on….this is how I view my life’s journey with God…..in ever widening circles.  I hope to be experiencing more and more of Him throughout my life, and into eternity.  I hope my understanding and experience goes deeper and wider still.

Of course, usually there is major upheaval to my life that accompanies these deepening experiences.  I don’t really relish that, but I have come to understand how marvelously God uses the ‘negative’ in my life to open me up to a whole new way of thinking.  I have a friend who calls these experiences, SEE – Significant Emotional Experience.  When we have these turbulent times in our life - a significant emotional experience - it can be like a portal into new levels with God. 

Most of us need these kinds of experiences before we are open to receiving anything new from God.  We get set in our ways and think we have things pretty well figured out.  Then we have a SEE, and we find we can SEE new things.  I think it’s because God uses these SEEs to make more room for Him in our hearts.  We cry out to know Him more, but sometimes, there’s just no room for a bigger view and experience of God than the One we currently know.  So God mercifully permits a Significant Emotional Experience, and it has he effect of  making more room in our hearts for more of Him.  And we receive the wonderful privilege of going deeper with Him and knowing Him better than before.

So, I greatly value my past experiences with God, but I certainly do not wish to return there.  They were the stepping stones to higher heights where the view of Him becomes more breathtaking than ever before.  I’m sure that in 10 years time I will view my current estimation of Him as very small in comparison with my new and expanded view of Him.

This is what He explained would happen.  We go from grace to grace, and faith to faith.  The apostle Paul prays for us in Ephesians 3:16-19 “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.”

I love these verses and I read them often.  Something else worth noting, is the phrase “with all the saints”.  Something else I’ve noticed is that God doesn’t just speak His revelation to only me or you.  If He is saying something, He is usually telling lots of people.  And I have found that when God is speaking something to me, even though it seems new and really “out there” to me, I find there are many others that God is saying, and has been saying, the same thing to.  And there is great comfort and fellowship in that.  They may be new people that I have not been connected to before, but God is really cool like that, to connect you with people who are hearing the same things as you.  He does this to confirm to us that we really are hearing from Him, and also to provide us with members of His body to grow and fellowship with in this phase of our journey with Him.

He has abundant provisions for us at every level of experience with Him.  Don’t cling to the old.  Open your hearts wide to ever widening circles of deeper experiences with Him.  He will never lead you wrong.  He will always be with you, forever.  Selah.

Most of the last twenty years of my life I’ve spent in churches that taught me all that was available to me through the work of Jesus on the cross.  I have salvation in Jesus, freedom from sin in Jesus, health and healing in Jesus, financial prosperity in Jesus.  It was my job to access the wonderful things that Jesus purchased for me.  Claim the promises, and walk in victory.  If I did not walk in the victory that Jesus had gone through so much to provide, well……it just made me feel like a horrible failure.  How dare I not be the epitome of togetherness in every way.  A Perfect Man gave His Perfect Life for imperfect me.  He is offering me His Perfectness to walk in every single day.  How inexplicably wrong of me not to access all of this perfection and be free from sin and sickness and poverty all the days of my life.  How dare I?

Actually, I was a fairly decent little Pharisee.  I diligently learned all the rules and principles and steps-to-victory, and I agressively tried to follow them all.  I had a decent measure of success in my life, but I think it was more from God sneaking His victory into my life, rather than it being victory that I gained by applying biblical principles to my life.  Did you see that last sentence?  That’s grace versus works.  Just thought I’d point that out there……..haha!

But the result of this kind of teaching was to make me feel like I should never fail.  I should never sin.  I should never be sick.  I should never have lack.  I should always have love, joy, peace, etc.  Basically, I should be Jesus here on the earth.  And if I was not being Jesus here on the earth, then I was a failure as a Christian.  People should be drawn to me because I was living a perfect life, free of problems.  They would want that, of course, and come flocking to me in all of my perfection and Jesus-y-ness.  I needed to be perfect so that others could come to know the same wonderful Jesus that I knew. *coughing and sputtering*

This teaching that I should be totally victorious in Jesus in every area of my life caused me to believe that I should not have any problems.  How unreal is that, right?  But there it is.  I honestly thought that I should not have problems, because if I did have problems, it meant that I was not walking in all the victory that Jesus provided for me.  And how dare I not walk in all that God had so abundantly provided for me.  I should never be sick.  I should never struggle with sin.  I should have all my children acting perfectly.  I should have the picture-perfect marriage.  You get the idea.

The problem with thinking of God in this way is that it makes Him into a vendor of sorts……a store…..a place to purchase things.  God provides these “things” like salvation, freedom from sin, healing, financial success, wisdom to raise children, you-name-it.  I come to The God Store and confess that I am without merit and have no money to buy anything.  This is the coin of this particular store.  My confession of poverty gets me whatever I need in the store.  I take what I need and go and use it or implement it into my life.  I know this sounds weird, but I’m quite sure that I thought of God in this way.  God was a place to get things that I needed, so that I had a perfect life, so that I didn’t have any problems, so that He would be pleased with me because I was accessing all that He provided.

Eureka!  That’s it!  That’s what I thought!  I thought that God was pleased with me when I was walking in total victory, and that He was not pleased with me when I was not.  He loved me, of course, and put up with me, so to speak.  But He was not pleased.  And you remember those verses in I Corinthians 10.  You can go read the scary story, but this one verse always jumped to my mind, “But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness.”  I don’t know.  It always made me afraid to not be pleasing to God.  Being overthrown in the wilderness does not sound fun.

So, obviously, there are a lot of things wrong with this kind of “God as a store” thinking…..hahaha!  When I believe that I am supposed to go to The God Store and get what I need and use it to make my life better, so that I will be pleasing to THE GOD, there is not much interaction between me and God.  This mentality does not foster relationship at all.  How many wives would want to have relationship with a man who wanted them to be perfect in everyway before he would give them a moments notice?  If I thought that Darrell wanted me to have the house in perfect order, and have my make-up on, and be dressed up, and have all the laundry done, and have dinner on the table before he would even lower himself to look my way and give me a smile and an “I love you”, what kind of a relationship do you think we would have.  Not an intimate one, I can tell you that for sure.

And this is not what God wants at all.  In fact, what He has been teaching me for the last two years is that Jesus did not die on the cross to open a store to give me all I needed to live a perfect life.  Jesus…God….died on the cross because He wanted a relationship with me………me……..ME.  He wants a relationship with me.  Did you hear that?  Wonder of wonders!  I can hardly contain it.  He died so that I could live in Him, with Him, and He with me.  I have no words now.   I am speechless.  * several moments of silence & contemplation*

God is not angry at me, or even displeased with me when I have problems in my life.  *hilarious laughter wells up in my heart*  He wants to walk with me and talk with me through every thing I go through.  He is working all things together for my good.  When I begin to think of Him as a person that I have a relationship with….wow, do things change!  And I’m not talking about life’s problems being suddenly fixed.  When I am walking in a relationship with God, He is with me and in me.  I experience His peace because He is with me.  I experience His joy because He is with me and in me, I experience love for others as He feels it because He is with me and in me.  Each circumstance of my life is experienced WITH HIM.  I no longer feel alienated from Him because I have a problem.

I still have problems and negative circumstances in my life, but I find that this gives me empathy for others who are going through the same things.  I have real compassion for people.  Before, I used to think to myself, “Well, if they would just apply these biblical principles to their lives they wouldn’t have these problems.”  UGH!  I was HORRIBLE!!  hahaha, and I still am horrible apart from being connected to my Jesus.  But being horrible is my connecting point with others.  Now, people don’t have to be perfect for me to connect with them.  I love people with flaws, because I have them too.  I revel in the flaws now, because these are also my connection point with Jesus.  He loves me right in the middle of my imperfections.  And knowing that, makes me love other people in all of their imperfections.  It’s perfectly freeing to embrace my human frailty.  It connects me with God, and with others.  When I’m trying to be perfect, I cannot connect with God or with people.  But when I embrace my humanness, I find myself connected to both God and people.  It’s amazing, and such a paradox.

Intimacy comes when we can really be ourselves with other people.  When we can live without masks with one another.  I cannot have a relationship with God or others as long as I am wearing a mask and trying to impress.  He wants me to know that He knows me, and He loves me the way I am.  He wants to enter into my life and into all of my circumstances and live with me there and experience it all with me.  and He wants that for others too.  That’s the hope I now have to offer others that I did not have before.  All I had before were rules and biblical principles to live by.  Now I have a relationship to offer.  And that’s what people want.  People want to know other people and to be known.  And God wants to have this with us all.

I’m still learning to take off the mask and be more and more real.  It’s not a once and for all thing.  It seems there are many layers of “me”.  So the process continues.  It’s very scary, but the outcome is always Life to the Fullest.

God is so exhilarating!

Hahahahahaha!!

I just read an article that really blessed me, and I wanted to post it here.  It’s from a website called The School of Christ.  Here’s the address if you’d like to go and read some for yourself:  www.theschoolofchrist.org.

Here’s the article:

No Fellowship?  No problem!

by Chip Brogden

You will never truly appreciate or benefit from fellowship until you have learned how to live without it.

There already is a fellowship of saints. It is a spiritual fellowship, and it is based on Christ having the preeminence – not the fellowship having preeminence. All this yearning for fellowship and being with others is the result of being hung-over from the religious system. You’re trying to fill a void that religion used to fill.

The purpose of solitude in the spiritual desert is to get you to see that Jesus is Enough. You’re not going to die from lack of fellowship, but if you don’t learn that Jesus is Enough then spiritually speaking you’re dead already. He’s the One you need to be focused on – not starting a fellowship, not finding a home group, not making something happen with other people.

And already I can hear the “yeah buts”. “Yeah, but God made us to be social beings. Yeah, but God knows we need encouragement from other believers. Yeah, but the Bible says forsake not the assembling of yourselves together as the manner of some is. Yeah, but we’re all supposed to be part of the Body of Christ. Yeah, but there’s just something about gathering together with like-minded believers. Yeah, but you just don’t understand what it’s like.” Yeah, but I do understand – I’ve been through that part of the desert before, and what I’m trying to tell you is God wishes to know if you love Him or if you love fellowship with others. God wishes to know if you are in love with Him or if you are in love with things about Him. God wishes to know if you seek Him or seek a meeting about Him.

There are times and seasons where He calls you to be alone and apart with Him. I’m not saying it will always be like that, but what if it is? What if He calls you to walk alone with Him for the rest of your life? Is Jesus enough for you?

I asked that question of a group of Christians once: is Jesus enough for you? Because most Christians do not believe this. They want Jesus, but they also want fellowship with others. Really, do you know what Christians want? Not fellowship with others. That sounds so spiritual. Really what they want is acceptance from other Christians. You go deep down and that’s what they want. They want to feel accepted by other Christians. Well, all I can tell you is that you’re setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Eventually there will come a time when you will have to decide between the truth that God has revealed to you and the acceptance of other Christians. Now it hurts when you are not accepted by other Christians. It hurts when other Christians misunderstand you and speak all manner of evil against you falsely when you have spoken the truth to them in love.

But the bottom line is your spiritual life and walk with God does not depend upon the acceptance of other Christians. You might think it does, and it sure makes things easier, but it is not a condition of following Christ – making sure other Christians understand and accept you. The deeper you go into God the more unacceptable you will be to other Christians. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is Himself, “Despised and rejected, a Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” Jesus would not be, and is not, accepted by most Christians, and do you know that does not change Him and His relationship with His Father? He is Lord whether you accept Him or not, my friend. And if you are His disciple then He accepts you whether the rest of the Christian population accepts you or not.

What I have found is that whenever I ignore the season God has me in, and I try to create fellowship, or seek fellowship, outside of the time and place appointed by My Father, it always ends in disaster. It creates problems, it becomes a disappointment, or it turns into a distraction from what He wants for my life.

And that is never more true than the period of time when you are fresh out of the religious system. You’ve been under a religious spirit for so many years, and don’t think you can just wake up one day, stop going to church, and be set free from that religious mindset. You think you need fellowship, you think you need meetings, you think you need other people in your life, you think you need all these things, and you are in error. That’s the religious habit talking. It’s just like a drug.

“Oh brother Chip, I’m so lonely, I’ve been going to church every Sunday for twenty years and now we just sit home on Sunday and we feel so empty inside!” Well praise God, if that’s where God has you right now then thank God for it. Stop looking for other people to fill a void that only Christ can fill. You’ve been covering up that void with a lot of religious junk and He’s stripping all that away. He’s trying to build something in you, so let Him do it according to the times and seasons that He has appointed. Don’t rush through that process. Get comfortable with just you and God. My goodness, you don’t even know what it’s like to walk with God and just be hidden in Him because your whole life you’ve been following Him in a crowd, worshipping Him in a crowd, praying to Him in a crowd, learning about Him in a crowd.

Enoch walked with God, and he didn’t have anyone else to fellowship with.

Noah walked with God and he didn’t anyone but his family.

Abraham walked with God and he didn’t have a house church to go to.

Moses spent forty years in the desert and it didn’t hurt him a bit, he came out better than he went in.

Jesus walked with God and every single one of His friends and disciples denied Him and fled when He needed them the most.

You give people too much credit for your spiritual well-being and don’t give God enough credit. I’d rather be alone with God than have a crowd of people without Him.

Now that doesn’t diminish anything the Bible says about the Body of Christ. But you’ve got to learn how to get connected to the Head before you try to get connected to the Body. Body Life is only as good as the Body’s relationship to the Head. The Body has no life in itself apart from the Head. If you read what the Bible says about the Body of Christ, you notice it doesn’t say that we are supposed to seek out our place in the Body or try to insert ourselves into place. It says He sets us in the Body of Christ according to His will. His will, not ours. You try to set yourself in place and you’ll get it wrong.

The Bible does not say “hold fast to the Body” or “hold fast to the members of the Body”, it says “hold fast to the Head.” The Bible does not say, “Seek ye first the fellowship of others”, but “seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and all these things – including fellowship – will be added to you.” You learn to do that and the rest will take care of itself, in the time and manner that God sees fit.

Take your hands off that whole issue of fellowship and cast that concern onto the Lord. Go to Him and say, “Lord, here I am in a desert place, it’s dry, and it’s lonely, and it looks like there’s no fellowship. But You are My Rock, My Fortress, My Hiding Place, You lead me and direct my steps. You be My Fellowship. If you see fit to bring me into relationship and fellowship with others, fine; but if not, then I trust that You are more than Enough to meet my spiritual, emotional, and social needs. I can live without fellowship Lord, but I cannot live without You!”

Now folks, I have been in that place so many times I don’t even have to pray about it anymore. I’ve just learned to trust God in this area, and I know He is sufficient. It’s settled in me. It’s not even a thing I pray about anymore. I want it to become settled in your heart as well. Let the desert do its work.

I just finished listening to the Free Believers podcast called “What is Fellowship?”  Great talk, Darin & Aimee, very encouraging.

Several times in the podcast, Darin says that when free believers are asked, “Where do you go to church?”, and they get the answer, I’m not going anywhere right now; the very next question is always, “Well what are you doing about fellowship???”  I had to laugh, because this is exactly right.  Why do people think that not going to church = no fellowship.  As if there is no possible way you could be having fellowship outside of attending church.

As I listened to the podcast, the thing that kept coming to mind over and over again was the question everyone asks when you tell them that you homeschool.  Do you know the question??  It’’s “What about socialization?”. And what they mean by that is, who will your child socialize with? who will be his friend if he is sitting at home doing school, isolated from all of his peers?  Won’t your child be weird and abnormal because they aren’t being with other children their age?  These two questions are very similar – What about fellowship? and What about socialization?

They imply that you cannot possibly have “real, valid, genuine” fellowship or socialization outside the confines of their institution.  Most non-homeschoolers think that homeschooling kids will grow up warped and socially unable to function in society because they have not gone to public school and learned the ins and outs of how life works.  It never enters their mind that some other method of growing up, learning, and socializing might also be valid, and might work as well, or better, than the status quo.

Homeschooling, in my mind, is taking personal responsibility as a parent for the education of my child.  I’m not saying that homeschooling is the only answer, but that it is a valid, worthy answer, that works well much of the time.

There are no formulas to bringing up kids in the Lord.  The only one I’ve found so far is, “Listen to God.”  This is the only thing that works in my house.  But it seems easier for me to hear from God concerning my children when I am with my kids so much of the time.  The more time you spend with a person, the better you know them, and the easier it is to be in touch with what God might have in mind for them.

So, concerning fellowship – I believe that not attending church is very much like not attending school.  I am taking personal responsibility for my own relationship with God.  I am not depending on what a pastor, church, or denomination tells me is right for me to do in my relationship to God, but I am finding out for myself, depending only on God to teach me.  I cannot tell you how much easier it is to hear God when there is no middle man standing between me and God.  I don’t have to sift through so many words to get at what God is telling me.  I don’t have the battle of what pastor says vs. what I sense God saying in my heart.  Sometimes those two voices would be in conflict for me.  And I always sided with pastor rather than the voice of God in my heart, because I thought to myself, surely he knows more than me….he’s the pastor.

But I’ve found that I can’t get very far with God if I am not willing to do what I hear Him saying in my heart.  And if I always have an authoritative voice in my head saying something different than God’s voice in my heart….well, you can see how confusing that could be.  And I was always in confusion, and having many questions that just never got settled.

So I left church, and have been out for 2 years now.  It takes about that long to start seeing semi-clearly.  The fog moves off slowly.  But church-goers always want to know, “What about fellowship?”  Their understanding is that you wil dry up and die apart from having fellowship.  But if you examine this belief more closely, you will see the holes in the theory.

If you believe that you will dry up and die spiritually if you don’t go to church or “have fellowship”, what you are saying is that you are not connected to Jesus, Who is Life, but you are connected to the church building and its people.  They are your lifeline.  But if you are a real believer, this is not true for you.  You are connected to Jesus as your very Life, and nothing can separate you from Him, church attendance or no.

Church attendance is not required to have a relationship with God.  Neither is school attendance required to have a relationship with knowledge and education.  Learning happens in many ways, and flourishes more readily outside the confines of the educational institution of  school.  And I have found that my relationship with God has flourished and grown outside the confines of the institutional church.

Socialization is what is deemed necessary to kids’ lives in order for them to be whole, normal citizens.  But homeschooled children are not unsocialized.   I think this myth has pretty much been debunked by many others, so I won’t go into the argument here.  When homeschooling was new to many people, this was the main question that homeschoolers were always asked.  “What about socialization?”

So that really stood out in my mind as I listened to the Free Believers podcast on fellowship.  Because the idea of people leaving church and still having a living, vibrant relationship with God is fairly new or completely unheard of to many Christians, their first reaction is just like the one people used to have to homeschooling.  The first response is usually, “What about fellowship?”

I believe that just as homeschooling has proven itself to be a valid and effective way to educate your children, and has become somewhat accepted by the population at large, that in time, Christians will begin to see that those who have left the institutional church have also found a valid and effective way to have a relationship with God.  Fellowship can be found outside the walls of the church building, in the same way that children can be socialized outside the walls of the school building.

When I did attend church, almost all of the real fellowship that I experienced was outside of church anyway – at someone’s house, or out to dinner, or having people over to my house.  This was fellowship.  Really connecting with people at a heart level.  And I still have that now.  Leaving church does not equal having no fellowship, any more than leaving school equals no socialization.

Call me idealistic, but I believe that Jesus actually means it when He says that He wants His body to be one.  What does oneness mean?  In my mind, oneness means no one part of the body having anything against another part – no rejecting, shunning, holding at arm’s length, etc.   If our own human body had that attitude we would be dead.

There are many parts of our body that don’t seem to deal directly with other parts, so they don’t have that kind of relationship that demands that they be in total harmony and closely in sync with the parts with which it has to do.  Each system of our body works together to accomplish wholeness and life for the body.  But some parts are more closely associated than others.  It is perfectly natural for us to be closer to some parts of Christ’s body than others.  But I do not believe for one moment that any part of the body has the right to reject another part – to not accept that part for whatever reason.

In nearly any body of believers found anywhere, we can find members who hold something against another member.  They have hurt each other in the course of their relationship.  It is declared that all is forgiven, but the members remain estranged. Things are never the same again.  If you see this person in the store, you avoid them so as to not have to talk to them.  When their name is mentioned in a conversation, turmoil arises in the heart.  Friendship has become impossible, out of the question.  There’s just too much hurt.  Yes, there has been forgiveness, but in our mind, there can be no restoration of fellowship and friendship.

My brothers and sisters, it is my belief that according to the example set forth by our Father and Jesus that this should not be.  Is there any one of us who has been hurt by another, more than our dear Father and our precious Saviour?  God created a perfect world and gave it to Adam as a gift.  God desired freewill fellowship from His creation.  But man continuously turns his back on this invitation.  Even as Christians, we don’t always do what our Father says is best.  He always wants the best for us, but we stubbornly want to do things our way.  Do you think that this does not hurt Him?  Do you esteem your own hurts to be more than God’s?

What about Jesus?  His blood was spilled, He gave His life, so that we could enter into real relationship with Him and His Father.  Every day of our lives He is forgiving.  His blood has washed away once and for all, all that we have done against Him.  Everything that could possibly stand in the way of our close fellowship with Him, He has erased it all, at personal cost to Himself.  He remembers it NO MORE.  This is our example, our pattern to look to when we want to know what real forgiveness looks like.

Real forgiveness requires a work of God in our heart.  We can choose to forgive a person, but will we let God wash our hearts clean of the hurt so that we can go back out there and love that person again like they never did anything wrong?  That’s how God loves us.  And until we are letting Him love others through us in this way, we are only letting the world see a purely human effort at loving.  And it just won’t cut it.  People want to see a demonstration of a love worth dying for.  And quite frankly, the cost is death….death to self.

By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, when you have love one for another.  God’s love.  Not our own limited love.  We can only go so far in our love for another.  But when we are deeply hurt by another, and we let God really, really have that hurt, and we let Him heal our hearts…..He does a perfect job, dear ones.  He can make your heart as though it had never been hurt.  He can actually take the hurt, and make it into a good thing for you, instead of it being something that eats at you all the time, till the end of time.  He is able to save to the uttermost.  He is able to restore two people to love again, to friendship, to fellowship.

We allow separation between us for the most insignificant reasons.  Our own agendas are more important to us than each other.  Nothing we believe – our heart felt convictions about God – should separate us from other believers.  If we believe in God, if we are God’s own children, nothing should hinder our ability to fellowship with another believer.  We may not be super close.  I don’t think it’s possible to be really close with a lot of people.  Relationships take time and energy.  What I’m talking about it is having a completely whole and healthy heart.  So that there is no one in all the body of Christ that we can think about with negative feelings.  Our hearts CAN be free from all hurt and wounds.  We CAN and should think positively about every member of the body of Christ.

This is the Love that He has provided for us.  It’s a grace that He died to give to us.  And I promise you that it does take grace.  Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply, takes the grace of God to really forgive.  We have to let God into that hurt place.  We will most assuredly have to face our part, because breakdowns in relationship are never a one-way street.  But we can look at our part, be forgiven, and then let God give us the grace to forgive and release that other person and actually put His Love in our hearts for them.  This makes restoration possible.

Restoration is the goal.  Not just forgive and forget the person.  God did not just forgive us, but then deny us fellowship with Him because we had hurt Him too much.  NO.  He forgave us so that we could fellowship with Him.  He is willing to wipe the slate clean and treat us like we never did anything wrong.  Love keeps no record of wrong doing.  He wants to fill our hearts with this kind of love so that relationships are restored to an even better place than before.

I have experienced this kind of reconciliation with a person before.  I know it is possible, and I believe it to be God’s desire for all relationships.  Let’s ask ourselves if there is anyone is our life (or out of life) that we have bad feelings about.  Has that person hurt us?  Do we need to let God into that corner of our heart and let Him heal that?  I can think of many relationships that have been damaged and not repaired as God would have them to be.

Relationships are a two-way street.  Sadly, sometimes the other person is not always willing to work things out as God would intend.  Restoration will not happen without both parties being willing to work it out.  But our hearts can still be free, even if the other party is not willing to be restored.  We can have God’s love in our heart for the other person, we can pray for them, and think God’s thoughts about them.  All of this can and will heal our hearts until the day the God brings that oneness about by His Spirit.

2 Cor. 13:11 “Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.”

Romans 12:18 “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

I Peter 3:8 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:”

Phil. 2:2 “Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.”

I used to think that for the body of Christ to be of one mind it meant that we all had to agree.  But that is silly.  No two people on the planet agree about everything.  No, God is talking about being of the same mind to love one another.  Being committed to not let anything stand in the way of our being able to embrace one another with a clean pure heart.

God’s grace is available to us to enable us to be one, to be competely healed of our wounds and be restored one to another.  I pray for the strength to receive it and walk in it.

Father, I love it that everything we are commanded to do in your Word is too hard for us.  Haha!  It makes it all about You, dear Lord.  The things that are impossible with me, are possible with You.  We must have Your grace, Your love, Your patience, Your forgiveness, Your everything, in order to live in this world as a reflection of You.  Thank you for being one with me today and living your life through me.  It is Your desire.  You will accomplish it.  Strengthen me with power in my inner man to embrace all that you are doing.

Over the last two years, a theme that God keeps revisiting in my life is one of accepting no substitutes.  He is faithfully pointing out ways in which I have a substitute for Him….places where I am looking to someone or something to fill a place in my life that is only meant for God.  And truly, truly, I say unto you, “If you belong to Him, He will accept no substitutes.”

I re-read an article that I had read maybe a year and half ago, and it just had new levels of meaning for me.  It explains very well some of my reasons for leaving church.  I want to post it here for you to read.  It’s long, but well worth the time spent……if you also are interested in accepting no substitutes.  Jesus plus nothing.  This is the gospel…..and the only thing that will set you free in every area and corner of your heart.  The real undiluted gospel will SET YOU FREE.  If you are bound in any way by fear, doubt, hatred, unforgiveness…..or any other work of the devil, then I would challenge you to go before God and ask Him in a completely honest way, to show you if you have any substitutes for Him in your heart and life.  And then be prepared for the unveiling.  It is shattering and uncomfortable……..but oh, so freeing.  Hahaha…..it’s the most amazing journey of my life!

So, anyway, here’s the article:

Leaving Church
by Lynette Woods

We consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. 2 Cor. 4:18.

When God first called us out of religion twelve years ago, we didn’t understand exactly what He was asking us to leave. Over time we saw that He was not just calling us to leave the church we were part of, but anything and everything that was a substitute for Him. Thankfully He did not reveal this to us all at once but has been leading us on a journey, through a process, one step at a time…

Recently Father brought me to another step which involved my use of the word “church”. Until this point, I believed that although He had called us out of religion, we were part of the church which Jesus was building; we were called to BE the church because the church was the people rather than the building. I felt I needed to constantly correct the common “misunderstanding” of the word, both to myself and others, and yet saying “we are the church” was very open to misunderstanding too. Some would think we were saying “we are THE church” or “WE are the church” or thought it was just semantics. Unbelievers couldn’t fathom it at all. They understand what the word church means in English: It is a religious place where religious people go to do religious things.

Whether we like it or not, the church is a religious system which not only substitutes itself in place of Christ in people’s lives, but also actively prevents them from knowing Him outside of the construct of itself. Jesus is building something heavenly and not earthly; He is NOT building the religious, institutional, compromising, man-created mixture that is the church. While editing a book for a friend, Father suddenly opened my eyes to see all of this and simultaneously gave me the freedom to leave the word “church” and stop trying to redeem it. I sensed that there had a been a season for that, but now I felt released to simply use the word church for what we know it to mean. The author wrote about this in chapter 8 of his book: The Irresistible Kingdom.

When I saw this, I realized we could no longer say we are the church or part of the church. While the world will be able to accept this without much trouble, those who consider themselves part of the church may not find it so easy. To me now though, it seems like saying we were part of the church was a justification to those who were church-goers – a way of reassuring them that although we were not attending a church, we were still part of the church because the church was the people of God… It made them, and us, feel a little bit better about it all!

But now we have left not only the buildings, the meetings, the system; we have also left the word. And just because we have left those things, doesn’t mean that we don’t have more religious sacred cows that need to be slaughtered and barbecued! Our religious mindsets blind us regardless of whether we are in the church or not. We have met people who consider themselves outside of the church system and yet are just as religious as anybody in a church – this is not about where we go or do not go, what we do or do not do, what we say or do not say – religion is an affair of the heart, and the heart belongs to only One. Seeing our religious prejudices how God sees them is an unveiling which begins in the spirit, and then brings change to the heart, mind and body. But change is often not easy for us to accept…

English is a language which is evolving and constantly changing. There is nothing sacred about the word “church” although some may feel like there is due to their mindsets and what they have believed. The words we use are important. To use a word which means one thing to most people but something different to you and a few others, is to ask for misunderstanding. For instance, with the word “gay”, we don’t see many people trying to redeem the word to mean happy or insisting that they will use it by its original definition regardless of what it now means. Instead most people accept that the definition has changed and know what others mean when they use it. It is the same with us and the word “church”; why use a word which doesn’t mean what we think it should mean?

Most of us have thought of church as being Biblical; after all, didn’t Jesus say He was building His church? That is what our Bibles say He said and although we can go back to the original Greek and look back in time to see how we got this word “church”, it won’t achieve anything unless we have been given eyes to see things spiritually. Only God can open our eyes to see and accept Truth… so what is shared here is not for convincing you or condemning you if you don’t see what I have seen, but is given in the hope of watering the seeds which have been planted in the hearts of those who know they are called out of religion.

Most linguists agree that the word “church” is derived from the Greek word “kuriakos” which simply means “the Lord’s”. The word was used only twice in the Bible: in 1 Cor. 11:20 for “the Lord’s supper” and in Rev. 1:10 for “the Lord’s day”. It did not mean anything like what the word church means today! By the time the Roman Emperor Constantine had legalized Christianity in the year 313, another word had been added: doma. Kuriakos doma meant the Lord’s house or domicile, a building that was the Lord’s. When the Emperor declared Christianity to be Rome’s religion, he gave tax exemptions to the leaders of it, appointed Christians as high ranking officials, supported the church financially, and… built churches – “kuriakos doma”. However, the phrase “kuriakos doma” is not in the original Greek Scriptures at all.

The word commonly translated as “church” in the Bible was the Greek word “ekklesia” which simply meant “called-out ones” – those who were called out of something, for something (see the article Being Called for more on what we are called out of and into). Obviously we do have this word “church” in our Bibles and this is because in 1611 when the officially sanctioned English version of the Bible was produced by King James (who was the head of the church in England at the time) one of the 15 rules the translators were given by him was:

The old ecclesiastical words to be kept, viz.: as the word ‘Church’ not to be translated ‘Congregation’ etc. (The rules can be read here)

The reason he had to mandate this departure from the Greek meaning of the word “ekklesia” was because there had been a previous translation of the Bible into English by William Tyndale in which the word “church” did not occur at all. Instead “ekklesia” was translated as “congregation” even though there were churches around when Tyndale was alive. But the translators for King James were specifically commanded to translate ekklesia as “church” and also to not contradict the traditions of the established church of which he was the head. This accounts for many of the mistranslations still in our Bibles today.

Some people call the church “the house of God” and this phrase occurs in the New Testament six times and is from two Greek words: “oikos theos”. The word “oikos” (translated as both house and household or in some more recent translations as “family”) means an “inhabited house” or the “household of a house”, which obviously refers to people. The instances where the phrase “oikos theos” occurs in the New Testament are interesting. The phrase refers to people in 1 Timothy 3:15 and 1 Peter 4:17 and refers back to the temple of the Old Testament in all the other instances (Matt. 12:4; Mark 2:26; Luke 6:4; Heb. 10:21). The writer of the book of Hebrews had been comparing the Old Testament temple to what we now have in Christ Who is the unseen, spiritual, heavenly House and Temple of God, NOT built with man’s hands here on earth.

The Scriptures make it very clear: the Temple of the Old Covenant was an example and parable until Christ came: “When God speaks of a new covenant, He makes the first one obsolete (out of use). And what is obsolete (out of use and annulled because of age) is ripe for disappearance and to be dispensed with altogether. Now even the first covenant had its own rules and regulations for divine worship and it had a sanctuary, but one of this world… Into the second division of the tabernacle none but the high priest goes… by this the Holy Spirit points out that the way into the true Holy of Holies is not yet thrown open as long as the former tabernacle remains a recognized institution and is still standing. Seeing that that first tabernacle was a parable (a visible symbol or type or picture of the present age)… But when Christ appeared as a High Priest of the better things that have come and are to come, then through the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made with hands, that is, not a part of this material creation, He went once for all into the Holy of Holies, not by virtue of the blood of goats and calves, but His own blood, having found and secured a complete redemption (an everlasting release for us). For Christ has not entered into a sanctuary (building) made with human hands, only a copy and pattern and type of the true, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf.” (Heb. 8:13; 9:1,7-9,11,12,24 TAB).

Stephen, who was accused of saying: “this Jesus the Nazarene will tear down and destroy this place, and will alter the institutions and usages which Moses transmitted to us” (Acts 6:14) further enraged the Jews when he said, “It was Solomon who built a house for Him. However, the Most High does not dwell in houses and temples made with hands; as the prophet says, Heaven is My throne, and earth the footstool for My feet. What house can you build for Me, says the Lord, or what is the place in which I can rest? Was it not My hand that made all these things?” (Acts 7:47-50).

These verses mention a Building “not made with hands”. This was a radical and offensive shift from the earthly buildings and systems of Judaism, which were seen and made by man, to the heavenly which is spiritual and made by God. He had originally given the design for the temple system but it had become an end in itself and had served its purpose; now Christ was in full view: “In Him the whole structure is joined (bound, welded) together harmoniously, and it continues to rise, grow and increase into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you yourselves also are being built up with the rest, to form a fixed abode (dwelling place) of God in (by, through) the Spirit.” (Eph. 2:19-22 TAB). This House is spiritual but we humans delight in having something which WE can make, feel, touch, see, hear, name, go to and worship in here and now on this earth; so we have churches.

You may well wonder why, if Ekklesia means something different to church, the word has not been ammended in subsequent translations of the Bible. Perhaps because few people today would buy a version without the word “church” in it! It would be unthinkable. The church has deep roots in our society, traditions, beliefs, and culture. Two versions of the Bible were subsequently published without the word church in them though: Young’s Literal Translation in 1898 and earlier, in 1826, a translation of the New Testament called “A Living Oracle” by Dr Alexander Campbell. In the preface entitled “An Apology for a New Translation” is written the following:

“A LIVING language is constantly changing. Like the fashions and customs in apparel, words and phrases, at one time current and fashionable, in the lapse of time, become awkward and obsolete. But this is not all. Many of them, in a century or two, come to have a signification very different from that which was once attached to them. Nay, some are known to convey ideas not only different from, but contrary to, their first signification… that the common version [KJV] was made at a time when religious controversy was at its zenith; and the tenets of the translators whether designedly or undesignedly, did, on many occasions give a wrong turn to words and sentences bearing upon their favorite dogmas… But some are so wedded to the common version, that the very defects in it have become sacred; and an effort, however well intended, to put them in possession of one comparably superior in propriety, perspicuity, and elegance, is viewed very much in the light of ‘making a new Bible’ or of altering and amending the very word of God. Nay, some are prepared to doom every attempt of the kind, to the anathema, in the conclusion of the Apocalypse, upon those who add to the word of God, or subtract from it.” http://www.mun.ca/rels/restmov/oracles1st/preface.html

If you look in the Bible for the church as we know it, you cannot find it. The closest you will find is the temple system which Jesus said He would destroy and replace with Himself. That is incredibly significant and yet many continue to unknowingly believe in and support a Judaistic type of an earthly temple, admiring churches that are large and impressive and even calling them “the house of God”. Those things appeal to our human senses and to our image of what we think is worthy of God. They appeal to our mind and emotions and so people confuse the emotional, cultural and intellectual with the spiritual; the soul with the spirit, and end up thinking that it is all of God when it is one unholy mixture. We desperately need Discernment… to discern not only Christ, but also to discern when something is simply appealing to our mind and emotions.

The focus of the church is on Self rather than on Christ: Salvation is for us, Heaven is for us, Fellowship is for us, Ministry is for us, Healing is for us, the Anointing is for us, Teaching is for us, Christ is for us, etc etc. Church is a place to go and get your needs met; whether it is your need to minister or your need to be ministered to, or your need to simply belong. SELF is the centre and circumference with God being presented as being like us – made in our image instead of us being transformed into His image.

“Since the Fall, blinded man has ever continued to make himself central. From his point of view, even in the religious realm, concepts and resulting methods become twisted until it often seems the church is presenting a God whose entire working is for man – his benefit, welfare, blessing and bliss. Some will admit they frankly feel this is the true work of the church. Who else is important? What else should we preach? Who else but man is important to God? Does not God Himself expend all His energies and purposes for man? Yes, until man has had a major rectification he will, even as a believer, be the very center of his very small universe – seeking to make all things serve himself.” (DeVern Fromke, “The Ultimate Intention”).

While I am not saying that everybody in the church is like this, many do cling religiously to the mistaken beliefs, teachings and traditions of man instead of allowing God to break through and shatter those and instead lead them to Truth Himself. While that breaking is costly and uncomfortable, surely we don’t want to be holding onto things which WE think are sacred and yet which are simply the traditions of man! Otherwise we may be in danger of making void the Word of God for the sake of our traditions as Jesus said in Mark 7.

Often church is a substitute for Christ in people’s lives. Church is their focus, their identity, what they live for, what they work for, what they love and fight for and they cannot comprehend leaving it. Ever. It is their life! We are the Ekklesia – the Called-Out ones of God – called out of all substitutes to know and experience the Reality and Truth of Christ and His Life! There is only One Who is our Life and Love and through Him God has provided the Way to free us from Sin, Self, Satan AND from all Substitutes. A substitute is a diabolical way of keeping us from the real and true because we are usually satisfied and quite happy with the substitute – because that is exactly what it is designed to do. It is only when you have encountered the Real, the Most Excellent, the Truth, that the substitute is shown to be a lie, a counterfeit and a very poor imitation.

After reading this some may concede that even if the word “church” isn’t Biblical, the institution is still obviously of God because look at how people can find Jesus there and all the good it does in the community etc. I would say to just look at how it takes the place of Christ and not only turns people off but away from God. The fact is that He not only can, but does, use many people and many things which do not even acknowledge Him or know Him. We see this in the Bible and we see it now: He is God and He can utilize anything and anyone to reveal Truth! Just because He spoke through a donkey yesterday and uses a Hollywood movie tomorrow doesn’t mean those things are suddenly holy or sacred. Just because God uses something to touch people’s lives doesn’t mean He either approves of it or is blessing it. I have heard Him speak through believers and through unbelievers; but what is more uncommon is holiness… God is holy, and every one who is wholly His, will have the same character.

Being “out of the institutional church” is an accepted and researched phenomena now but the fact is that while many have heard the call to leave the church, very few have had the church leave them. Most of us have years and years of deeply rooted religious beliefs that still need to be uncovered and pulled out. While I can no longer say that I am part of the church (which to me is wholly temporal and earthly), I can say that I am part of Christ and His Body (which to me is wholly eternal and heavenly).

There is a danger that we will stop and camp out with the last thing God showed us and not go on. Leaving church is only one step! We must KEEP listening, KEEP seeing, KEEP walking, KEEP on leaving all those things which God reveals as earthly and which are mere substitutes for the reality of Christ in our lives.

“The implications of any movement of God are not always recognized at the beginning, but if we go on with Him we shall find that much that is done here and is of time is – and has to be – left behind. The spiritual and the heavenly is pressing for a larger place and becoming absolutely imperative to the very life of the instrumentality and those concerned. It is spontaneous and just happens. We wake up to realize that we have moved into a new realm or position, and no amount of additional earthly resource can meet the need… The great pity is that so many just will cling to the old framework or partial vision. God presents His heavenly pattern in greater fulness and demands adjustment… But because it is ‘revolutionary’ or not ‘what has been in the blessing of God’ etc., etc., it is rejected and put aside… God in sovereignty will run the risk of shattering, or allow the shattering, of so much that He has used of scaffolding or framework in order to realize the fuller purpose… So, things may be taking a new and different shape, but the purpose of God is the same. We may be presented with His vision in new and further-on aspects, but it is only what He originally meant. Can we adjust? Can we leave “the things that are behind”? Without raising any questions as to the right or wrong of what has been, can we “go on” and “grow up”, “attain”?” (T. Austin-Sparks, “Vision and Vocation”).

God is delivering, separating, purifying, setting free and establishing what the enemy has always sought to destroy. Jesus IS building His called-out ones into an unseen, holy, heavenly Building of His design and making; He is calling us out of Sin, Self and Substitutes into Himself as The Place where God is… in Life, in Freedom, in Peace, Rest, Love and All that Christ Himself is!

Come and, like living stones, be yourselves built into a spiritual house, for a holy priesthood to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable and pleasing to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Pet. 2:5

Below is a post to group I am a part of.  It’s written by Bob Bethke from Fayetteville, AR. He mentions “the man” several times in his article.  If you would like to read more about “the man” for clarification and understanding, go here www.freebelievers.com/blog-entry/the-man-and-me.  Just so you know….I don’t know if Bob is referring to the same ‘man’ as the article I have linked to above, but the thoughts behind both of their uses of ‘the man’ seem similar to me.  This is my own connection that I made.  I am not implying that Bob has read the above article or that he was referring to it when he wrote the post I have copied below.

So read it and enjoy:

Since I was a Senior Pastor for 30 years, perhaps I can shed some light on “the man” and his relationship to God and the institution. When I was around 14 years old I prayed that God would help me, because when I left home I wouldn’t be going to church anymore. It was too boring. Apparently not much has changed in the past 40+ years.

I’ve participated in a few of the great movements of God in years past–movements that God used to draw us, ignite us, purify us, and transform us, but after a few years, the institution won out. People were changed, but not the institution. Whatever life God brought to us in those spiritual revolutions eventually became analyzed, formularized, published, packaged, and sold for consumption. “If you want revival and renewal, this is how you do it” Really?!!

Unfortunately, nearly every pastor I’ve met over the years has either succumbed to the institution or admitted that he had done so. Regardless of how hard we try, how much we pray, and how aware we might be of that seduction, we pastors eventually fall prey to the institution and become “the man.” Though many pastors hate being in that position, some actually embrace it and think of it as the true christian culture. How tragic.

How does that happen? I can tell you that most pastors I’ve known over the years have begun with the same hope and desires as you. They were bored out of their mind with the endless chatter of pastors, wanting to be creative in sharing who Christ is and imparting who Christ had become in their hearts. They wanted to see life, and did all they could to practice the disciplines, follow God’s leading, and be obedient to their call. Yet, in the end, the institution seductively absorbed them into it’s programs and patterns.

The institution has no regard for the spiritual. The structure and practice of the roman catholic church may be significantly different than that of evangelicalism, yet the foundation of the system is much the same. Institutions take what is alive and seek to clone it. They find the reproducible elements and replicate it as best they can. They produce materials, workshops, conferences, and speakers to perpetuate it. But it eventually dies because what is alive is of God, and only God. No one can replicate the life and work of God, though institutions do their best to imitate it and bring life into it.

Think for a moment about what you would like the ecclesia (church people) meeting to be like. What have you done? Programmed what you think would be stimulating, meaningful, God-honoring, and especially God-welcoming. When I began pastoring, Acts 2:42-47 was my image of “real” church. I did everything I could to make it happen. “I” is the big problem. Only God can make it happen.

So If we start with the right ingredients; Starbucks, Bible Study, personal sharing, open heart, etc. what keeps this from eventually becoming institutionalized. It worked last week so let’s do it again. After awhile, you and all your good, honest intentions eventually become institutionalized.

How do we avoid it? If we knew the answer to that we could analyze it, publish it, sell it, etc. See what I mean? The closest I’ve come so far to the answer is this; we’ve got to let God be God. We’ve got to quit expecting and demanding that our leaders (whether it be of a coffee shop gathering of 6 or a mega church assembly of 6,000) conform to our image of “pastor.” We’ve got to encourage our leaders to seek God and God alone. The “Emerging Church” is seeking to be authentic and real, yet they will face the same fate of an institution if they fail to keep their focus on God.

The demands upon a pastor for stimulation, creativity, organization, personal attention, conformity to our ideas, and fruitful results are much of what distracts pastors from the same hope and goals we all have for the ecclesia, and shoves him down the path to become the man. When pastors fight it and say “enough,” they are urged to leave and find a new church.

Perhaps the Brethren exemplified it best when they met to be quiet before the Lord and speak only when God had truly spoken to them. Their only expectation was that they would humble themselves in solitude to listen to God, speak only when they should speak (Prov. 13:3), and apply the truth that came during their meeting. Yes, they didn’t have Sunday School, or youth group, or nursery, or Jet Cadets, or a host of evangelism and discipleship events, or even a Starbucks, but they did have the essentials; solitude and quietness before the Lord in order to be refreshed with His Life.

If you’ve stayed with me this far, I admire your ability to stay awake. Forgive me for rambling and roving. I don’t have the answers, but I can certainly identify with those who are tired of “church” and desiring what is “authentic.” May the Holy Spirit impart to this generation how to His Voice and follow His lead. Even if we give up on the institution, let us remain faithful to the ecclesia. By God’s grace she continues to become more beautiful as Christ Jesus fashions her into His image. And you are that image. Grace and Peace to you.

I get off-the-wall excited when I read something that completely expresses my heart.  I joined a group on Facebook called “Sharing the Journey…folowing Christ”, and it has been such an encouragement to me.  There are so many threads and topics to discuss, and everyone is very open and non-judgmental.

So, I read a post today that was like……..WOW.  As soon as I get the author’s permission, I will post his words here on “Soaring”.  But I wanted to go ahead and talk while the thoughts are fresh in my head.

Oh dear, my mind is rushing in a hundred different directions….”dear God, help me say all this coherently.”  I feel like many different puzzle pieces fell into place for me today when I read Bob’s post on Facebook.  Maybe I’ll start by talking about the different puzzle pieces, and then I’ll see if I can make them come together for you the way they did for me.

The first piece came to me by reading a book called Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto.  I read this book about a year after my exodus from the IC.  It’s about what’s wrong with the public education system – i.e. The Institution of Public Education.  The whole time I was ready the book I was saying to myself….”Oh my gosh!  This is what’s wrong with the church!”  It was crazy.

The book is about how the institution of school – public education – stifles creativity, free thought, and freedom.  It produces clone-children who don’t know how to think for themselves and are dependent on others to form opinions and get things done.  In my Tuesday, March 18, 2008 blog entry on my other site (http://www.xanga.com/sonshein5?nextdate=6%2f9%2f2008+16%3a41%3a41.950&direction=n) I discuss a concept called “Networks vs. Communities”.  Reading it would be helpful to understanding this concept better.

Briefly stated, the book proves over and over again how an institution cannot be a substitute for real life.  Genuine learning takes place within the context of real life.  The light that went on in my head from reading the book was a comparison of the institution of school to the institution of church.  Just as schools try to ‘make children learn’ so they can be productive members of society, so also churches try to ‘make believers learn’ so they can be productive members of the church.  But the form, structure, design, paradigm of school & church is faulty.  This is not the method of learning that Christ taught.  All people everywhere learn by doing.  Jesus taught his disciples, and then He immediately sent them out to do.  People are hands-on.  We get into the thick of things, and we figure stuff out.

When you have a teacher or a pastor who continually teaches you, and you don’t have any doing in your life, no life application, the teaching is completely ineffectual.  It can actually paralyze you and keep you from doing.  I read that the practice for surgeons-in-training is to watch a surgeon do a procedure, then they must do it themselves.  If they keep watching and watching to try and figure it out better, they become more immobilized by fear that they won’t be able to do it.  So they have found that it’s best for those in training to watch once, then do.  I thought this was amazing.

Yet, we go to church and listen and listen and listen.  Then we feel more and more and more inadequate to do the work of being a Christian.  We don’t feel as holy or qualified as the pastor or teacher who has so much knowledge & so many answers.  Who are we?  We are just the student, or just the believer.  It’s a mentality that seeps into you as you sit and listen and don’t do.  We become paralyzed with feelings of inadequacy.

Every institution probably starts out as a life-giving thing.  But the moment it becomes an institution, it starts taking life rather than giving it.  The purpose for starting the institution becomes secondary to running the institution.  It totally stinks.  So how can believers meet together in a life-giving way and not succumb to becoming an institution?  I don’t know….yet.

OK, I’m switching gears here.  Another piece of the puzzle for me was learning how to let God meet my needs and not look to people to do that.  I have always practiced that in my marriage relationship, but I had never thought about or applied this principle deeply to all of my other relationships.  I don’t know why, but there you have it!

If I look to my children to give me affirmation as a mother, or if I look to them for fun and fellowship, or if I want them to ‘be there’ for me, all of these things, and many others, are ways that I am looking to my children for something that only God can give me.

If I look to a friend to give me affirmation & understanding & fellowship, I am asking my friend for something she cannot give to me.  I am looking to her to fill something in me that only God can give.

If I go to church and I sing in the choir or I work in the church nursery, I need to examine the REASON WHY I do these things.  Am I looking for the praise of men?  Do I want others to think I’m spiritual?  Do I want the affirmation of men?  Am I wanting God to “use me” so that I am convinced in my mind that He loves me.  If I’m usable, then that means I have God’s stamp of approval, right?  I actually used to think that. Ugh!  Rabbit trail: God does not “use” people (but don’t get me started on that.  I’ll blog about that another day.)

All of these reasons why we do what we do need to be examined.  If our motive is to get something for ourselves then we are operating out of the flesh.  I don’t care how spiritual it looks.  God is meant to be the filler of our hearts.  He was made for our hearts.  He is the ONLY ONE Who can fill our hearts.  Every other attempt we make at trying to fill ourselves up so we can feel better is idol worship or self worship.  Some people fill themselves with drugs, alchohol, work.  But the cleaner version of that are the church-goers who fill themselves with good works to make themselves feel better and more accepted by God.  It’s still the same thing.  A man-made attempt to fill the void & be happy.

Only God can fill our souls to overflowing.  Only God can give us what we can never find on our own.  We must accept the free gift of God’s love & forgiveness & righteousness.  Then we will be filled and overflowing so we have something to give to others.  Then we are in a position where Life can happen.  Because when we give and love with no expectations and no strings attached, good things happen.  We free people to be who God wants them to be rather than tying them down with our expectations and needs.

So, I’m thinking that when people come together in this fashion, that we can experience what Christ would call a true Church.  Everyone giving and loving each other out of the rich treasure of being loved by God.  No methods or forms or programs of institutional psuedo-life.  No “have to’s”.  Just people being loved by God and then pouring that out on whoever is in their path.

This is the world I want to live in.  Maybe I have just imagined heaven.  But I think that God wants to bring heaven to earth anyway.  So this is the life I am striving after.  And I know for sure that He is planting this vision in the hearts of many believers around the world.

For some reason, I really, really love quotes.  They seem to be piercing arrows into my soul.  When I read a good one, my heart jumps up and down and says, “Yes, yes, yes!”  I just love the experience of indentifying with another human being.   Hmmm…..I’ll have to ponder that train of thought later.  I don’t want to digress from what I came here to say.

I am reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller.  He is a writer’s writer.  There are some writers that are very good at writing.  I read lots of books, and most of them are wonderful.  But every now and then I read a book that is so well written, I just want to stand up and applaud.  I marvel at a good writer’s ability to convey profound thoughts and ideas with words.  A writer’s choice of words deeply moves me.  I appreciate their gift more than I can say.

I just finished chapter 7 in Blue Like Jazz called “Grace – The Beggar’s Kingdom”.  He talks at length about how we try to obey God in the flesh and it never works, at least not long term anyway.  He describes this process in the most witty fashion.  I found myself laughing so hard.  But it’s because I so identify with what he is saying.

But he gets to the part where he is talking about receiving God’s love for us, and how that’s the only thing that can motivate us to really love Him and obey Him.  Nothing else will do.  God always meant for it to be about being in love with Him.  To obey Him out of ‘trying’ is no obedience at all.

Miller then tells a story about how God revealed the concept of grace to him.  He is in a checkout line at the grocery store, and the lady in front of him is paying for her groceries…..with food stamps.  He said that the lady, the checkout clerk, and himself, were all standing there feeling really awkward.  The checkout clerk quickly filled out the appropriate paperwork, and the lady moved away from the line with her groceries….never looking up or making eye contact with anyone.  Shame.  Everyone feels badly in this situation.  He said that he wanted to buy the groceries for her, but that would only have increased the awkwardness of the situation.  But later he realized that what he really wanted to buy her was dignity….

This is what God has done for us.  We stand in our shame and guilt, and he has the ability to give us absolution, freedom for guilt, a robe of righteousness.  Imagine that God gives you a pile of cash that you can spend as if it’s yours, instead of using your food stamps.  You know that it came from Him, and that you didn’t do anything to earn it.  But when you go to the store, you get to act like it’s really yours.  You get to look like normal folks.  You aren’t on the outside anymore.

I don’t know if this speaks to you like it did to me, but it was one of the best stories I’ve ever heard to depict the grace of God.  I am guilty of all manner of sinfulness.  But God has paid for it, washed it away, and given me a fine, clean garment to wear.  I get to go around acting like I’ve never done anything wrong, because He doesn’t hold anything against me any more.  Such love is very motivating.  It makes me want to run out and share that love with anyone who will listen.  This is way better than feeling like it’s my duty to share with folks, and carrying around some heavy bag full of “shoulds” on my back.

So, Miller ends the chapter talking about how we like to think that our love story with God is like Romeo & Juliet, where two equals are madly in love, but it would be more correct if we saw our relationship with God like The Taming of the Shrew, where the groom endears himself to the belligerent bride with kindness, patience, and love.

I want to quote the last two paragraph’s of the chapter:

“Our ‘behavior’ will not be changed long with self-discipline, but fall in love and a human will accomplish what he never thought possible.  The laziest of men will swim the English channel to win his woman.  I think what Rick [that's his pastor] said is worth repeating that by accepting God’s love for us, we fall in love with Him, and only then do we have the fuel we need to obey.

In exchange for our humility and willingness to accept the charity of God, we are given a kingdom.  And a beggar’s kingdom is better than a proud man’s delusion.”

Don’t you just love that last line!  I am having a romance with it.  I love it!  A beggar’s kingdom is better than a proud man’s delusion!

Dear Jesus, help me, help me not to be too proud to receive your forgiveness.  Help me not to wallow in self-reproach, guilt, shame, and condemnation.  None of these things are from you.  You shed your own blood, and gave your own life, so that I can be gloriously free from these downers.  You want me to receive your wonderful forgiveness and love at all times, and proudly but humbly wear your robe of righteousness.

I feel like a girl with a new clothes!  Don’t you love new clothes!  I don’t deserve my new clothes, but I get to wear them anyway…and look good in them!  Woo-hoo!